By now, many of you are aware that I am running for the illustrious title of "bologna queen". The following is a reprint of something I posted earlier today as a tongue in cheek look at my new found campaign run. It represents me as a person; and not my company or professional associations in any way...If you are offended, I apologize in advance. It is meant to be funny and light hearted...every once in awhile it is good to laugh, especially at ourselves...It reminds us to be human...Jana
The following are observations from my campaign to become bologna queen. Looking at the campaign and the behaviors required to become ingrained in this yet unexplored culture.
1. The title alone, bologna queen; speaks volumes to the intellect and appearance of the candidates.
2. Bologna is not politically correct in all cultures, and some even find it offensive. Further, the idea of wearing it on one's head as a trophy is indigenous to the small culture of which the festival centers.
3. The amount of donations received at a local pub is equivalent to the size/visibility of one's physical attributes; locally referred to as "getting the girls out".
4. Discussing the merits of utilizing your campaign as a market research/data collection tool for your graduate thesis does not endear the locals to your campaign. Getting drunk, half naked and dancing on a pole in the back of a Harley bus and then sharing pictures; you will find yourself the local favorite.
5. telling people to check out your website r/t queen seeking only works in the local area if you exaggerate and tell them you have over 15 mature ladies ready to meet them posted there. Apparently the Internet is used only for viewing specific types of "photographic art" in some cultures.
6. Even clean solicitations for donations makes one feel skanky.. Especially when it is occurring at a local gathering place (hangout) and the bikers sitting next to you explain they will donate only if you rate the quality and size of their bologna...
7. Wearing ones bathing suit with a man's tank top (commonly referred to as a wife beater); with flip flops and cutoffs to a local pub will get you more donations then hanging out at coffee hour after church and discussing the merits to the community for their donations.
8. The above only works if the "girls" are your best attribute and the pub is air conditioned.
9. While visiting local pubs eat food that is pre packaged. Observing the dog licking himself as he walks from the kitchen while you eat the salad that was just prepared there...
10. Eating salad from any local watering hole is an experienment to only be tried once.
11. Never order a drink from a guy wearing an old Harley vest that requires more then two juices or has a big name like cosmopolitan.
12. Stick with something simple like J-A-C-K
13. Drinking JACK gets you more donations and looks of admiration from the locals
14. Especially after the fourth of such....
Utilizing the web for shameless self promotion of my run for bologna queen, and to gander more research data on marketing to a new culture.
Jana 4 Bologna Queen
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