A Safe Peer...

Last night in class, we ended our team discussion; with a tangent discussion about why our class group works well together. This conversation led to the topic of giving and receiving support and feedback to/from "safe" peers. What do I mean by safe peers?

A "safe" peer is someone who usually has no connection to your "company/organziation" work, they are not your competition, your superior, or your subordinate. They are someone who shares professional role equality/or roles with you; but are not necessarily in the same line of business or work. To put it in lay man's terms; they understand your pain.

It was a fascinating discussion; and something that I had really not thought much about. I am fairly fortunate, and an oddity in that I am a pretty straight forward person, and trust my superiors and my subordinates with an abnormal amount of personal "stuff"...However, what about those days when I just feel like an island? You know what I mean...all alone, with no one to share my frustration or paradox with, what do you/I do?

Now imagine...Your behind on your work that is due in; so you don't dare call your boss to vent, (the first thing out of their mouth could be where is it)? You really can't blame them, I am sure they are experiencing their own angst with you.. If you call one of your organizational peers, they will probably empathize, but then nature will take over and they will "share" your story. Competition between company/organizational peers being what it is; nothing feels better or gives more power then "information" about a peer that could become a negative in your collective bosses opinion... (Don't even try to deny that you are always above sharing information about a peer that could make you look good...no one is that perfect).

I started to think about who my "safe" peers were, and what role they have played in my personal development or personal mediocrity. I came up with my list, and it was surprising to find, that I have developed a fairly strong safe peer group over the past four years. The interesting side bar in this; is that I consider two of these individuals to not only be professional peers(both in totally different lines of work but in management), but also people whom I am personal friends with.

I then thought about who am I a safe peer for, and what is my role for them? Can I be a better peer to them with increased honesty and real feedback? What can they learn from me, and what can I gain from them?

As a peer "group" my class is diverse. We represent all age groups, a few religions; we are all over the political spectrum; and we have varied career paths/goals. But the one thing we all agreed on; was the power of group support, discussion and feedback on issues that we face as leaders and managers. Getting someones idea, or view point about your particular issue can be critical in developing your own leadership tool box. Having a group of "safe" peers can help you develop your skill set and broaden your arena of ideas, and solutions to the day to day frustrations or issues we all face as leaders.

We ended our discussion with this thought; if you have not developed a "peer network" are you simply stagnating at your leadership role? Is it not critical to have someone that you can bounce ideas/issues off of; and then take their feedback and put it to work for you? How do you continue to grow without someone to give you feedback and insight into your problems or dilemmas? Perhaps we have stumbled upon a new research topic for a paper; but more importantly, it is a topic worth thinking about if you are a leader, manager or working toward personal growth.