Oh my...my dissatisfaction with the conservatives; mostly those who run the grand old party...I say wake up! It is time to stop, and ask the general populous for some directional correction...
Yes, I am a conservative minded female..shocker..if you have read the blog entries you can figure that out from the first two sentences of any entry...What does shock many, or may shock those who know me best, is that I am not a religious right conservative, nor dare I say are most of my conservative minded friends..In fact, if you asked them and I; we would tell you that abortion, separation of church and state, prayer in school, are not the fundamental issues that our party should be focused on..
In fact, I would vote for a pro choice conservative that had the bigger picture of American rights and liberty as their main platform agenda..This is the discord that is ripping apart the religious conservatives and those of us who believe capitalism, free markets, and personal liberty to make choices and be accountable for those choices are the biggest issues facing not only our country but our society.
It is the loss of personal rights and the force of big government that scares me for my countries future. It is a generation of hands out, expecting everything to be given, but no work or accountability to be expected. It is the charismatic, "trust me" that people are listening too as they are stripped of their rights to individual liberties that generations of Americans fought to gain.
It is big government taking over private organizations...I beg you to find a government agency that works as effectively as well run organizations have or can? I think none...Perhaps it is because those politicians that are/have been in office, are career politicians, and the really intelligent, self motivated and focused individuals go into that ugly word...business...and they find...(gasp!) success...and they have the audacity to get paid really well for their skill and savvy...
So GOP...start asking..pay attention to the angst of Americans, all Americans and you can find success..It is a very small percentage that feel socialism is a successful venture. Start thinking about ways to provide services with less tax, yet allow for personal liberties..Focus on the real gut wrenching issues Americans are anxious about..and get a new directional route..If you/we fail..we are doomed...and the GOP will become a historical movement that is not looked or recalled with favor..simply...they lost direction...and instead of moving forward they turned in circles, until they ceased to exist any longer..
Monday, May 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Be wary of the hand that feeds you..it may choke you tomorrow..
A lesson to AIG....
When times were good, and you were a private company making significant money, you probably deserved lavish raises and bonuses. As a believer of free markets, it is my belief that as a private owner it is the right of a company and it's board to reward those who make it money.
When times became bad, your ethics and true values became apparent. This behavior, like those of your other large corporate failing brethren have left a sour taste in the mouths of Americans. Especially when the dollars you have so lavishly received from our government are being taken from the pay checks of average hard working Americans, who are struggling to put food on the table and are shopping at salvation army for their family.
The very behavior of such companies during these hard economic times will be the destruction of free market beliefs in this country. Public outcry to destroy and control such companies will lead this country into a socialized government..pathetically sad that business did this to itself..not all business..some very big businesses where greed got in the way of ethics and value based choices..
I have struggled with my belief in free markets because of this uncontrolled behavior. I have struggled with government buyouts..I have been taught that when you screw up, you own your mistake and you fix it on your own..perhaps with some well placed guidance, but always on my own..
We are screaming as a society about this entitlement behavior, but it is the same behavior that we ourselves espouse to our young people, it is our own belief about things at work...we have lost all sense of personal accountability for our actions and taking the lumps with our mistakes.
Well AIG, you are no longer private. You are no longer self controlling..that money you took so willingly is going to come at a price. Each of you who are getting bonuses deserve the public scrutiny, public outcry and anger. I anticipate that your names will be public knowledge in a very short time; I imagine that your neighbors and church members will shun you; you will get hate mail and be publicly called out by strangers for your greed. It will be interesting to watch the non reactions that I assume you will have..only soul less individuals could live a good life knowing that they money they are receiving is not only undeserved but morally wrong to accept.
Yes the price you will pay for taking the tax payer dollar, is the tax payer outrage..let us hope and pray it does not resort to violence...
When times were good, and you were a private company making significant money, you probably deserved lavish raises and bonuses. As a believer of free markets, it is my belief that as a private owner it is the right of a company and it's board to reward those who make it money.
When times became bad, your ethics and true values became apparent. This behavior, like those of your other large corporate failing brethren have left a sour taste in the mouths of Americans. Especially when the dollars you have so lavishly received from our government are being taken from the pay checks of average hard working Americans, who are struggling to put food on the table and are shopping at salvation army for their family.
The very behavior of such companies during these hard economic times will be the destruction of free market beliefs in this country. Public outcry to destroy and control such companies will lead this country into a socialized government..pathetically sad that business did this to itself..not all business..some very big businesses where greed got in the way of ethics and value based choices..
I have struggled with my belief in free markets because of this uncontrolled behavior. I have struggled with government buyouts..I have been taught that when you screw up, you own your mistake and you fix it on your own..perhaps with some well placed guidance, but always on my own..
We are screaming as a society about this entitlement behavior, but it is the same behavior that we ourselves espouse to our young people, it is our own belief about things at work...we have lost all sense of personal accountability for our actions and taking the lumps with our mistakes.
Well AIG, you are no longer private. You are no longer self controlling..that money you took so willingly is going to come at a price. Each of you who are getting bonuses deserve the public scrutiny, public outcry and anger. I anticipate that your names will be public knowledge in a very short time; I imagine that your neighbors and church members will shun you; you will get hate mail and be publicly called out by strangers for your greed. It will be interesting to watch the non reactions that I assume you will have..only soul less individuals could live a good life knowing that they money they are receiving is not only undeserved but morally wrong to accept.
Yes the price you will pay for taking the tax payer dollar, is the tax payer outrage..let us hope and pray it does not resort to violence...
Monday, December 15, 2008
Momma's Got Your Back...
Have you ever had one of those moments at work where something occurs and you are rendered speechless by the audacity of the situation? I think I have seen much in the world of human behavior..however last week I encountered a situation that confirmed for me as a leader what our next generation will bring to us and the work place....
It gave me pause to think about what we have created in our effort to give our children the perfect world to live in; we have created overly confident,entitlement believing, dependent children. Ahhh..the millenniums..
Don't get me wrong, I think there is great value in self confidence, but self confidence is earned, not given as a false sense..There is value in failure of self, and learning to overcome our shortcomings, dealing with the reality of life, the pecking order of life so to speak; teaches us great things about who we are, who we can become or who we won't become. Giving your child the opportunity to fail, fall down, and then pick themselves up is one of the best life lessons we can do as parents...Yet,very few parents are able to stomach watching the reality of this. Instead, we now salve our parental angst with guilt ridden support for situations that if left to their own devices and outcomes could bring maturity and growth value beyond measure.
Hence my topic. Imagine your momma calling your boss to fight for your job; that you lost on your own volition due to attendance, attitude and work ethic. That's right, momma's got your back.
Huh..never thought of my mom as my labor negotiator or muscle..especially when I was 25 years old.
It gave me pause to think about what we have created in our effort to give our children the perfect world to live in; we have created overly confident,entitlement believing, dependent children. Ahhh..the millenniums..
Don't get me wrong, I think there is great value in self confidence, but self confidence is earned, not given as a false sense..There is value in failure of self, and learning to overcome our shortcomings, dealing with the reality of life, the pecking order of life so to speak; teaches us great things about who we are, who we can become or who we won't become. Giving your child the opportunity to fail, fall down, and then pick themselves up is one of the best life lessons we can do as parents...Yet,very few parents are able to stomach watching the reality of this. Instead, we now salve our parental angst with guilt ridden support for situations that if left to their own devices and outcomes could bring maturity and growth value beyond measure.
Hence my topic. Imagine your momma calling your boss to fight for your job; that you lost on your own volition due to attendance, attitude and work ethic. That's right, momma's got your back.
Huh..never thought of my mom as my labor negotiator or muscle..especially when I was 25 years old.
Monday, December 8, 2008
The Newest Fairy Tale...
Interesting times they found themselves in. Jobs were scarce, money was tight, bills were surmounting, houses were being taken; blame was being handed out like candy canes from Santa, credit was no longer, retirement savings were diminished, vacations and frivolity were cancelled..the poor were hungry, and health care became a privilege..Yet no one could account for what had happened...They walked amongst themselves mumbling and grumbling about responsibility and argued over fault and blame. Who could have allowed this to happen? Who did this to us they asked over and over...
Not I said the UAW worker, "I simply take my check, retirement and benefits and go home at night, I work hard for my pay and benefits I deserve it and am owed".
Not I said the home owner; "I bought my house with 0 percent down, and could make the payments when I was working, but now my house is worth less then when I bought it; so I shall just leave; the bank should have known better".
Not I said the credit card user; "I pay my minimum payments, so I have been late a few times, everyone else is too". The card was given to me to use; so what if I don't pay it off...no else is either".
Not I said the auto CEO, "my company vision is what people want and crave; we must give them what they want; who cares about what they need", our product may be overpriced because of labor inputs, and outdated for fuel efficiency..but people want to buy American".
Not I said the lender; "I put people in homes who could never have afforded one, I met their need for instant gratification, it is what they wanted". They deserve their high percentage of interest..they agreed to it..
Not I said the bureaucrat, "I vote for what people tell me they want; they want more regulations and more government services", I am giving service to my country; and I deserve a full service retirement and benefits...
SO, they all pulled together and voted in a touted savior..He shall lead them to light and fix the wrongs that have been thrust upon them..and they shall follow his lead and words...blaming someone else for the problem but never themselves..And they will all live happily ever after in that place called Nirvana..
Yes this is the new American Fairy Tale..feel free to print and share..I am looking forward to reading it to my grandchildren as we sit in our box known as a home and I share stories about what once was a great nation and how we fell...blaming each other for the wrongs of our life, and looking for someone to rescue us from our own making of demise...
Not I said the UAW worker, "I simply take my check, retirement and benefits and go home at night, I work hard for my pay and benefits I deserve it and am owed".
Not I said the home owner; "I bought my house with 0 percent down, and could make the payments when I was working, but now my house is worth less then when I bought it; so I shall just leave; the bank should have known better".
Not I said the credit card user; "I pay my minimum payments, so I have been late a few times, everyone else is too". The card was given to me to use; so what if I don't pay it off...no else is either".
Not I said the auto CEO, "my company vision is what people want and crave; we must give them what they want; who cares about what they need", our product may be overpriced because of labor inputs, and outdated for fuel efficiency..but people want to buy American".
Not I said the lender; "I put people in homes who could never have afforded one, I met their need for instant gratification, it is what they wanted". They deserve their high percentage of interest..they agreed to it..
Not I said the bureaucrat, "I vote for what people tell me they want; they want more regulations and more government services", I am giving service to my country; and I deserve a full service retirement and benefits...
SO, they all pulled together and voted in a touted savior..He shall lead them to light and fix the wrongs that have been thrust upon them..and they shall follow his lead and words...blaming someone else for the problem but never themselves..And they will all live happily ever after in that place called Nirvana..
Yes this is the new American Fairy Tale..feel free to print and share..I am looking forward to reading it to my grandchildren as we sit in our box known as a home and I share stories about what once was a great nation and how we fell...blaming each other for the wrongs of our life, and looking for someone to rescue us from our own making of demise...
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thankfulness...
As I sit here in my warm pink flannel jammies..eating a great apple..I ponder the day I had; the life I am living; and the choices that I have everyday..Today was a Monday..and like any other Monday, my day was filled with a host of characters..some who amaze me, some who annoy me; and others who fill my heart with sorrow at their struggles..
I turned 41 this weekend; and as I think of the crazy year that my 40th birthday brought to me; I am grateful and thankful that it is over and I am on my new path with renewed hope, direction and by God's grace a life filled with purpose and plan.
But what am I thankful for? Beyond the cliche, my health and family..I have found a few that will perhaps delight and remind us of the simple lessons and joys that "living vs. existing" brings to us. Open your mind and your eyes will see like a blind man seeing light for the first time..it can be an amazing thing...Jana
What I am thankful for..a list of 41 things my life has taught me to appreciate..(In no order..those who know me-know that randomness drives my mind)...
1. Warm socks when the tiled floor hits the feet in the morning..
2. The smell of fresh brewed coffee as it is delivered to me in the morning..
3. Having a man in my life who brings me hot coffee when I am getting ready for the day..
4. Milk duds..my new found candy addiction.
5. When traffic moves faster then the speed limit..
6. Putting on a pair of pants or a skirt that I haven't worn in awhile and it still fits!
7. The amazing shoe collection that my ex husband unknowingly helped me amass...
8. Having a job that is fairly recession proof, and job skills that are needed in the future..thank god for health care..
9. Staff who have constant negative attitudes and ethics issues..Their behavior keeps me gainfully in need and employed..
10. A best friend who knows my secrets and loves me in spite of them..
11. My stepson for teaching me a new approach to life and the love of spontaneous thoughts and giving.
12. My mom..as I age her idle chatter and life lessons have finally fallen on open ears and mind and she has moved up in my list of wise people.
13. Really cute but effective reading glasses that I now leave everywhere..
14. A really good magnifying mirror and good tweezers..
15. That the above statement makes my husband laugh and not go ewwwh!
16. Football and NFL cable packages that make it the only show on our television for 4 months...
17. That UofM at least won a few games unlike the Lions..
18. There are approximately less then 1300 days left until I can move south!
19. Credit card bills that are paid in full.
20. Being an equal in all ways with my spouse.
21. The challenge of an intellectual mind during a heated political debate..
22. The U.S. military for their service to this country to keep my ability to be free in all choices.
23. I can wear jeans, swear, drink, marry and divorce freely, and have rights as an equal to my male counterparts without fear of death or punishment.
24. Blues music that touches my soul..
25. Anyone who can get in touch with their inner self and express it thru art
26. For my mind and the ability to get as much knowledge as i can possibly fit into it..
27. For cookies and milk at night..
28. For people who do not judge but love unconditionally..
29. For my grandfather...he is over 90 and has lived the life we should all learn from..hard work, simple foods, good humor and simple joys.
30. I love football..thanks to the years sitting in the cold watching my athletically gifted child.
31. my love of cooking, and my mom teaching me how..
32. the pulse and rhythm of the big cities and loving them all.
33. the resilience and endurance of the people of new orleans.
34. People who get my lack of filter, and the over rated belief of political correctness.
35. Trust in the majority to be correct, but enough sense to know that "following the crowd mentality" is not my buy in.
36. My dad for teaching me the value of economics, and his father teaching me the true meaning of free market enterprise.
37. When people chose the right thing without reward, publicity or recognition...
38. People who have forgiving hearts and open minds as the base of their personality.
39. my boss for leading me to personal growth and awareness...
40. my upbringing in a small town.
41. my future...it is a place that I spend many days thinking about with endless possibilities!
Hope you all have a great holiday..peace, joy and take time to say thank you for the things in your life that have made you happy, grateful or just laugh..
Jana
I turned 41 this weekend; and as I think of the crazy year that my 40th birthday brought to me; I am grateful and thankful that it is over and I am on my new path with renewed hope, direction and by God's grace a life filled with purpose and plan.
But what am I thankful for? Beyond the cliche, my health and family..I have found a few that will perhaps delight and remind us of the simple lessons and joys that "living vs. existing" brings to us. Open your mind and your eyes will see like a blind man seeing light for the first time..it can be an amazing thing...Jana
What I am thankful for..a list of 41 things my life has taught me to appreciate..(In no order..those who know me-know that randomness drives my mind)...
1. Warm socks when the tiled floor hits the feet in the morning..
2. The smell of fresh brewed coffee as it is delivered to me in the morning..
3. Having a man in my life who brings me hot coffee when I am getting ready for the day..
4. Milk duds..my new found candy addiction.
5. When traffic moves faster then the speed limit..
6. Putting on a pair of pants or a skirt that I haven't worn in awhile and it still fits!
7. The amazing shoe collection that my ex husband unknowingly helped me amass...
8. Having a job that is fairly recession proof, and job skills that are needed in the future..thank god for health care..
9. Staff who have constant negative attitudes and ethics issues..Their behavior keeps me gainfully in need and employed..
10. A best friend who knows my secrets and loves me in spite of them..
11. My stepson for teaching me a new approach to life and the love of spontaneous thoughts and giving.
12. My mom..as I age her idle chatter and life lessons have finally fallen on open ears and mind and she has moved up in my list of wise people.
13. Really cute but effective reading glasses that I now leave everywhere..
14. A really good magnifying mirror and good tweezers..
15. That the above statement makes my husband laugh and not go ewwwh!
16. Football and NFL cable packages that make it the only show on our television for 4 months...
17. That UofM at least won a few games unlike the Lions..
18. There are approximately less then 1300 days left until I can move south!
19. Credit card bills that are paid in full.
20. Being an equal in all ways with my spouse.
21. The challenge of an intellectual mind during a heated political debate..
22. The U.S. military for their service to this country to keep my ability to be free in all choices.
23. I can wear jeans, swear, drink, marry and divorce freely, and have rights as an equal to my male counterparts without fear of death or punishment.
24. Blues music that touches my soul..
25. Anyone who can get in touch with their inner self and express it thru art
26. For my mind and the ability to get as much knowledge as i can possibly fit into it..
27. For cookies and milk at night..
28. For people who do not judge but love unconditionally..
29. For my grandfather...he is over 90 and has lived the life we should all learn from..hard work, simple foods, good humor and simple joys.
30. I love football..thanks to the years sitting in the cold watching my athletically gifted child.
31. my love of cooking, and my mom teaching me how..
32. the pulse and rhythm of the big cities and loving them all.
33. the resilience and endurance of the people of new orleans.
34. People who get my lack of filter, and the over rated belief of political correctness.
35. Trust in the majority to be correct, but enough sense to know that "following the crowd mentality" is not my buy in.
36. My dad for teaching me the value of economics, and his father teaching me the true meaning of free market enterprise.
37. When people chose the right thing without reward, publicity or recognition...
38. People who have forgiving hearts and open minds as the base of their personality.
39. my boss for leading me to personal growth and awareness...
40. my upbringing in a small town.
41. my future...it is a place that I spend many days thinking about with endless possibilities!
Hope you all have a great holiday..peace, joy and take time to say thank you for the things in your life that have made you happy, grateful or just laugh..
Jana
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Life Is Not Fair..Teaching Life Lessons That Are Real..
Perhaps I am jaded; or perhaps I have a sick sense of reality and humor. But this past week found me perusing the children's book section of my local franchise book store with Jeff...As we wandered I searched for books to add to the "grandparent" collection we have started at the house for our newborn grandchild..Yes that is correct..I at the tender age of 40 became a step-grandma this week..yet another life change to get my head around..
But I digress..the books and subject matter were happy, politically correct, "feel good" "play fair" make it even kind of stories..take care of each other, take care of the environment, play nice, don't hit, don't fight, and make life "fair" kind of stories..Great lessons for kids..I get that...however..when do we teach them the real stuff? I too would love to live in nirvana 24/7. The reality is that someone is always going to be smarter, prettier, faster, and have more money then I. Someone sometime is going to be mean, cruel, hurtful or injure you. Some people get hurt, have illness and die. We have harsh realities in life that no matter how hard we try to protect and avoid for our children they are going to learn eventually..
I know people who home school their kids to "avoid" the realities of life in public schools. I know people who feed their children only home grown organic foods and no sugar..I know people who refuse to speak of ethnic and cultural differences in their home for fear of being "pegged" racist..I know parents who feel sexual expression is wrong and that "god" commands it happens only after marriage..
I don't know about you..but the thought of a generation of protected children puts fear in my soul. Naive is sweet..but when it comes to a nation in stress, financially, and facing challenges from third world countries where children are taught Americans are evil and how to kill at tender ages..I feel a tremor of fear that is difficult to shake..
I believe in parent choices..but as a parent I also feel it is my responsibility to fully educate my child..to give them both sides of the equation and then my opinion and why I feel that way..I would love for the world to be peaceful and loving..but in my 40 years of life, and reading chapter after chapter of history I have yet to see human beings ever being able to capture this for all..We are after all humans..
The first lesson I would teach...that life is not fair..get over it..In my 10 years of leadership it is the reality of many employees that fairness is something they demand..but as defined by their rights..If it is "good for them" then it is fair...human nature to define it that way isn't it? Don't get me wrong, I strive for fair and equal treatment of employees..but as a leader, we have the right to discretion to weigh and balance that fairness. In situations of peer to peer confrontation it is not always possible to get the win/win..sometimes there is the perception of "unfair".
I often wonder where is it written that life is supposed to be fair? I ask that question of every person who shows up in my office demanding fairness be part of the equation..I ask it nicely..and I ask them where did you learn that fairness is part of life? out of curiosity..
In my own life of experiences, I learned very early life was not fair..If it were, I would have been born with two functional eyes, would not have spent my childhood in glasses, with a patched eye, unable to catch a ball..I would not have had allergies or asthma..I would have been thin, blond, smart and beautiful.. In retrospect if my mom had home schooled, I would never have learned coping mechanisms for taunting..i would have not learned to use humor and verbal skills to the level I have in my life..I would not have been taught that libraries are full of the world at my fingertips; and that escaping my small town existence could be done in an hour of reading..
Life lessons have merit..we need to recognize them for what they are to children...protect them, but teach them...allow them to learn from experience and discussion at a young age..not at 20 when they naively see the real world for the first time..
This grandma is going to make sure her grandchildren learn realities of life, along with the nirvana we wish it to be...but also..that life is what you make of it..use the skills you have to overcome the skills and gifts you have not been given..
Perhaps I shall write a book...
But I digress..the books and subject matter were happy, politically correct, "feel good" "play fair" make it even kind of stories..take care of each other, take care of the environment, play nice, don't hit, don't fight, and make life "fair" kind of stories..Great lessons for kids..I get that...however..when do we teach them the real stuff? I too would love to live in nirvana 24/7. The reality is that someone is always going to be smarter, prettier, faster, and have more money then I. Someone sometime is going to be mean, cruel, hurtful or injure you. Some people get hurt, have illness and die. We have harsh realities in life that no matter how hard we try to protect and avoid for our children they are going to learn eventually..
I know people who home school their kids to "avoid" the realities of life in public schools. I know people who feed their children only home grown organic foods and no sugar..I know people who refuse to speak of ethnic and cultural differences in their home for fear of being "pegged" racist..I know parents who feel sexual expression is wrong and that "god" commands it happens only after marriage..
I don't know about you..but the thought of a generation of protected children puts fear in my soul. Naive is sweet..but when it comes to a nation in stress, financially, and facing challenges from third world countries where children are taught Americans are evil and how to kill at tender ages..I feel a tremor of fear that is difficult to shake..
I believe in parent choices..but as a parent I also feel it is my responsibility to fully educate my child..to give them both sides of the equation and then my opinion and why I feel that way..I would love for the world to be peaceful and loving..but in my 40 years of life, and reading chapter after chapter of history I have yet to see human beings ever being able to capture this for all..We are after all humans..
The first lesson I would teach...that life is not fair..get over it..In my 10 years of leadership it is the reality of many employees that fairness is something they demand..but as defined by their rights..If it is "good for them" then it is fair...human nature to define it that way isn't it? Don't get me wrong, I strive for fair and equal treatment of employees..but as a leader, we have the right to discretion to weigh and balance that fairness. In situations of peer to peer confrontation it is not always possible to get the win/win..sometimes there is the perception of "unfair".
I often wonder where is it written that life is supposed to be fair? I ask that question of every person who shows up in my office demanding fairness be part of the equation..I ask it nicely..and I ask them where did you learn that fairness is part of life? out of curiosity..
In my own life of experiences, I learned very early life was not fair..If it were, I would have been born with two functional eyes, would not have spent my childhood in glasses, with a patched eye, unable to catch a ball..I would not have had allergies or asthma..I would have been thin, blond, smart and beautiful.. In retrospect if my mom had home schooled, I would never have learned coping mechanisms for taunting..i would have not learned to use humor and verbal skills to the level I have in my life..I would not have been taught that libraries are full of the world at my fingertips; and that escaping my small town existence could be done in an hour of reading..
Life lessons have merit..we need to recognize them for what they are to children...protect them, but teach them...allow them to learn from experience and discussion at a young age..not at 20 when they naively see the real world for the first time..
This grandma is going to make sure her grandchildren learn realities of life, along with the nirvana we wish it to be...but also..that life is what you make of it..use the skills you have to overcome the skills and gifts you have not been given..
Perhaps I shall write a book...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
A New View...
"It seems to me...that external circumstances often serve as occasions for a new attitude to life and the world, long prepared in the unconscious, to become manifest." Carl G. Jung..
So the circumstances of my my life are once again being altered. 7 days after our wedding, my husband came home from a weekend training with the Army National Guard and announced that he will be "sourced" in the next 15-21 months.. As a newbie to the Army thing, he had to explain to me that it meant he would be deployed, as in over seas to an undisclosed location for a period of 12 months. Not exactly the honeymoon we had envisioned..Not exactly the circumstances I had in mind to start my new married life with...
I have had about a month to get my head and heart around this bit of information. A constant flow of thoughts come and go in to my mind, so much so that I have started a mental list of things that I need to be ready to deal with.. I have spent time thinking about the practical; bills getting paid, home repairs that will have to be done, dealing with decision making power for the stepson; thinking about his children being without their dad for a year, the grandson missing his grandfather for a whole year.
The bulk of my thinking is very self centered.. Will he be safe? Worst case scenarios seem to come into my head and at times take my breath away. What if something happens here, who will help me deal with it? I don't want to be alone for a year..the thought of being all alone; far from my family supports, working full time, dealing with a senior year and the needs of his children and my own son, but who will be here for me? I am somewhat angry about the circumstances, but I knew this going into the relationship that it was a possibility, I just thought we would continue to beat the odds..
I also think about him..He has trained for this, and dedicated years of his life to service to his country..This is the culmination of that training, and honestly it is something he wants to do. I understand that part of his psyche completely. I think about him there, alone, in constant crisis situation mode for 12 months..How will this change him? What will it do to him and how will that affect the "us" we have just started to create? I have jokingly told him that our "seven year itch" will be postponed as we will probably go through a second or extended honeymoon phase when he comes home..yet part of me gets that the horror of war could change his "attitude" and persona to something I don't know..It is the unknown and total lack of control that has me feeling so very overwhelmed by it all..
I liken this experience to what families feel when the reality of a serious illness, or injury comes into a life and alters the circumstances of their lives. I share this as I think about the families who I encounter, dazed, overwhelmed, not knowing how the change in their life could happen, and dealing with the unknown of it all comes crashing down around them as they deal with the choice of placing a loved one in a permanent long term care setting, or they deal with the choices of care giving..In a moments notice the path,the course the expected becomes null and void; replaced by so many questions, unknowns and what ifs...
As a caregiver leader, I can give lip service to the feeling, I can talk about the knowns from my side of the desk..But until one is faced with a set of life altering circumstances; we cannot begin to understand the emotion, the loss of control,the thoughts and anxiety that comes with it..
So the circumstances presented to us have left me with a new attitude and appreciation for so many things..Simple time spent as a family, recognizing the daily gifts I have been given, how great my life has been blessed, and that happiness is a self dependent emotion that I chose to put in my life everyday..
I shall keep you posted on the circumstances of my life as they progress..for right now the attitude is about getting through the day with a smile, focus and a renewed recognition of what families feel when they deal with me as a caregiver...I get it...
So the circumstances of my my life are once again being altered. 7 days after our wedding, my husband came home from a weekend training with the Army National Guard and announced that he will be "sourced" in the next 15-21 months.. As a newbie to the Army thing, he had to explain to me that it meant he would be deployed, as in over seas to an undisclosed location for a period of 12 months. Not exactly the honeymoon we had envisioned..Not exactly the circumstances I had in mind to start my new married life with...
I have had about a month to get my head and heart around this bit of information. A constant flow of thoughts come and go in to my mind, so much so that I have started a mental list of things that I need to be ready to deal with.. I have spent time thinking about the practical; bills getting paid, home repairs that will have to be done, dealing with decision making power for the stepson; thinking about his children being without their dad for a year, the grandson missing his grandfather for a whole year.
The bulk of my thinking is very self centered.. Will he be safe? Worst case scenarios seem to come into my head and at times take my breath away. What if something happens here, who will help me deal with it? I don't want to be alone for a year..the thought of being all alone; far from my family supports, working full time, dealing with a senior year and the needs of his children and my own son, but who will be here for me? I am somewhat angry about the circumstances, but I knew this going into the relationship that it was a possibility, I just thought we would continue to beat the odds..
I also think about him..He has trained for this, and dedicated years of his life to service to his country..This is the culmination of that training, and honestly it is something he wants to do. I understand that part of his psyche completely. I think about him there, alone, in constant crisis situation mode for 12 months..How will this change him? What will it do to him and how will that affect the "us" we have just started to create? I have jokingly told him that our "seven year itch" will be postponed as we will probably go through a second or extended honeymoon phase when he comes home..yet part of me gets that the horror of war could change his "attitude" and persona to something I don't know..It is the unknown and total lack of control that has me feeling so very overwhelmed by it all..
I liken this experience to what families feel when the reality of a serious illness, or injury comes into a life and alters the circumstances of their lives. I share this as I think about the families who I encounter, dazed, overwhelmed, not knowing how the change in their life could happen, and dealing with the unknown of it all comes crashing down around them as they deal with the choice of placing a loved one in a permanent long term care setting, or they deal with the choices of care giving..In a moments notice the path,the course the expected becomes null and void; replaced by so many questions, unknowns and what ifs...
As a caregiver leader, I can give lip service to the feeling, I can talk about the knowns from my side of the desk..But until one is faced with a set of life altering circumstances; we cannot begin to understand the emotion, the loss of control,the thoughts and anxiety that comes with it..
So the circumstances presented to us have left me with a new attitude and appreciation for so many things..Simple time spent as a family, recognizing the daily gifts I have been given, how great my life has been blessed, and that happiness is a self dependent emotion that I chose to put in my life everyday..
I shall keep you posted on the circumstances of my life as they progress..for right now the attitude is about getting through the day with a smile, focus and a renewed recognition of what families feel when they deal with me as a caregiver...I get it...
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